That is me lately. Slummin' it as a clerk at a gas station late nights. Its helping connect the dots a bit better though. But it certainly fucks with my schedule. I knew it would. But it is a necessary evil for the moment. But good news abounds lately in our home as the wife has some great things coming up for her, which sets in motion long dormant plans and dreams of ours. So I have the light at the end of the tunnel that if we both work hard now, we will emerge waaaaaaaaay better off when the time comes. So for now, I shall choke down the poo sammich I got on my plate.
Actually, its not all that bad. The job is easy enough. I get along with everyone I think. But juggling the sleep schedule and the kids can be a bit gruesome. But its all worth it in the end, I know. Just gotta keep my eyes on the prize.
Something special happened this week. My parents came up for a visit. Last January, my dad had a heart attack, stroke and was in the hospital in a coma. Although very scary and the familiar fears set in, I just knew that he would be okay. That his time just isn't up. Also, my step-mom is battling cancer, but she certainly doesn't show it. The cancer is shrinking and she's remaining extremely positive. But its hard to make an 8 hour drive to visit all of us kids with juggling tons of doctor's visits and other things they got going on, plus our hectic schedules. But this week the planets aligned and they arrived. They showered our home with gifts for the kids' upcoming birthdays and our wedding anniversary. They even watched the house for a night so the wife and I could get out alone... a rarity in our lives! We just window shopped at a couple grocery stores and then had late night breakfast like we used to do back in college. It was nice to enjoy my wife's company, alone. Another tiny gift from my parents.
We'll see them again this next week. Right now they are up visiting my brothers an hour north of me. I am going to go up there on Thursday so we can all be together for a bit. Again, a rarity for all of us to be in one place at the same time. But when my folks left here and headed up north, Gloria sent me this pic of dad:
He's smiling while talking about the visit they just had at our place. While I know the kids can be loud and money is tight here so we can't take THEM out to show them a good time, he still had great fun and was happy to have came to visit. Its indescribable what this picture means to me. It hasn't been easy for my dad this year. He's been through some hell with his own health, but now down 85 pounds. His wife is fighting cancer. And there has been some major major major drama in the family I won't get into. But one that really has to cut him beyond deep, financially and personally. I couldn't imagine dealing with it all like he is. But here he is, smiling.... just after seeing us here, and heading up to see his other kids, enjoying every second of life he has before him. I wish I had this pic back in January when he was in the hospital. To know that very soon, I'd see my dad upright and feeling good and he'd be smiling again. The back pain is not there and his worries are melting away with his joy over his family. I'm going to get this one blown up and keep it in a great place. Its a candid photo she snapped and he didn't know it was happening. Its as genuine a shot as you can get and I won't forget it.
Meanwhile, here's some newer pics of James and Scotty:
Scott-bot starts kindergarten this year. He's making excellent progress. James is talking non-stop and we're excited about his progress as well. Its most certainly likely that he does not have autism like his brother and we get the joy of two unique journeys of life with them. Its so early in the game and I am going to enjoy the ride. I hope one day I'll have a pic of me smiling like that at almost 70 years old, reflecting on my visit with my kids like the one I got above.
But for now, I am focusing on whats before me. Getting the medical debt gone. Saving for the dream house. Finishing all my projects. Losing weight and getting mentally healthy. Its going to take a while, I know. But I am way better today than I was a month ago. I'm enjoying life and learning to smile again. The things that should anger me, simply don't anymore. I just don't care. Reconnecting with my old self... its a great thing. Hello old friend. I'm glad to see you never left. :)
This year is starting to turn itself around, thank creation. Just wait til you see whats coming from the seeds I'm planting today.....
Cheers, T
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