Hey everyone! Long time no talk. I've been busy with a ton of stuff both professional and personal. I've tried to craft you folks a decent blog for a while now, but I just got nothing much to say about anything current right now. But its close to year end and I always do a year end BEST OF, WORST OF list to wrap things up. To be honest, I haven't dissected too many new things that have come in the world this last year. I've just tried to keep myself glued together. 2014 came out swinging from the ring of the first bell in January. I started out the year optimistic for the future, but immediately was dealt several blows in my personal and professional life. It got dark for me folks. As dark as it can get. Its like the universe sent me a year of hell to wake me up and reboot my life. I could sit and re-list everything that went wrong and play the victim. I could do a "woe is me" act for you all. But honestly, I don't feel like doing that. Because I'm not sad. I'm not angry anymore.
In fact, I'm quite the opposite. I'm grateful.
I'm grateful for everything that happened to me this year, especially the bad things. And it was a lot. Perhaps even, the worst possible things I've ever had to endure. Both my personal and professional lives came crashing down and the universe pushed me into the dirt and tried to keep me there. I was almost done for. To be honest with you folks, sometimes things got so bad, I considered that the pain was so great, I often thought about checking out. It was a foolish, passing thought. I never would have done it. But when you get knocked to your absolute bottom, you consider all options. We've all been there, I'm sure.
What I found at the end of the tunnel was extreme light. Extreme clarity. I knew the universe had sent me a message. I needed the worst to happen. I needed to reboot my life. I have been dormant for far too long. I took for granted things that should have been more of a priority in my life. I skated by on the bare minimum and made excuse after excuse. Honestly, its no way to live a life. And I want more out of my time here on this Earth.
Recently I've been reading a lot of self help books. Stuff to help me through some key incidents. And some to help me do a great mental sweep of the vast amount of cobwebs in my head. It was dark and dusty up there. But still completely fixable. Over the past few months, I have slowly began to change. My priorities shifted. My goals changed. I focused on my new ideas and was rewarded. I got great success on Kickstarter with Starslam. I got back into Star Wars and Marvel cards. I wrote new and exciting stories that I will one day work on. I spent time with my family and realized that I need to spend time with myself. Sometime this next week, I am seeking full time employment and I will continue my journey into the next phase. I'm not just skating by any longer. No more check to check living. I am building the dream home I've always wanted. I'm building the life I've always wanted. I am becoming the person I've always wanted to be.
Most impressively, I've slayed the demon that has plagued me all my life. I've dropped 48 pounds. I'm almost below 300 pounds for the first time in well over a decade. I'm thinner, lighter and I have more energy and clarity than I've had in god knows how long. I'm discovering a new me and it feels amazing. I have extreme clarity. I know who I am and what I want. and I don't care about the little arguments anymore. I don't care about those who bark or throw mud at me. I'm walking on, head high and confident.
There's a popular saying, "That which does not kill you, makes you stronger." I can attest to that statement as being 100% accurate. I fell like I've just went through the worst year of my life. And I am not wallowing in self pity or anger. I'm grateful. I've been awakened to the clarity I've always sought all my life. I know who I am and what I have to do. Some might think I'm crazy for some of my upcoming changes and choices. But its my life and its what I want. I have to live for me and make myself happy. And I am. Finally for perhaps the first time in my life, I know how that is done.
For those looking for 2014 best of plugs, I will say I enjoyed the new Ace Frehley, U2 and Pink Floyd albums. I also loved Marc Maron and Amanda Palmer's new books. I haven't seen many new movies but Guardians of the Galaxy was great. I still have yet to see the last Hobbit movie, but I will. On the TV front, I enjoyed The Walking Dead, The Eric Andre Show and a few others. I don't have a list of the WORST events, because I don't care to list them. I don't care to dwell in them. I am just taking what happened, screaming back at the universe. Here is what I say:
"Is this all you got? Come at me! You can't kill me. You can't take me down. I'm still standing here."
There still is much more work for me to do. Mentally, physically, personally and professionally. I've evolving to the next phase. The better me. And I'm doing it for ME, no one else. I answer only to myself. I look forward to all that 2015 has to offer me. I'm looking forward to the next phase and getting the life I've always wanted. At the end of 2015, I am going to be completely different than I am now. I will be thinner, happier and at peace. Plus I am looking forward to flying cars, the Cubs winning the world series against Miami, and Hoverboards. Right? It better happen!!
I hope you folks had a good Holiday season and be safe for the New Year. I'm going to check out for a while now. I have a card set to finish, we're also packing up and moving into a new house in the middle of January, so I might be offline for a while. But I will be back with new stuff to show and talk about, very soon. And to those waiting on STARSLAM books, I expect them print the printer this next week and I will be slowly mailing them out. Please bare with me as I'm juggling a lot with the move and other things, but I am going to get all the books out as soon as I get them. Thanks for your continued love and support and please keep checking back here on me. 2015 is going to be a great fucking year for us all.
Onward and upward!
ADAM T.
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