The Struggle

Hello everyone. Its been a week of extreme exciting highs and some downers. The downers is whats got to me. It revolves around money. Im working two jobs, one is a max of 32 hours a week. The other is around 20-28 hours. Both at minimum wage. Im barely scraping by as it is and I am hemmoraging money! I am continuing my search for a job that gives at least 36 hours a week, and more hourly pay. But frankly, its extremely difficult to find one. No one wants to pay benefits anymore. And what sucks is I am soon going to lose my access to healthcare, so I need a new plan. I dont know what the best option is for me. Im dumb about this stuff.

I needed my healthcare today because I ended up in the ER. I got out of work and went to bed. About an hour later I was woke up by these extreme pains in my upper stomach. I tried vomiting but nothjng came out. It hurt so much that I went to an urgent care. They couldnt find anything wrong with me so they sent me to the ER. The area affected was near my gallbladder and pancreas. Knowing my mom had gallbladder problems and its hereditory, i went. Had Blood taken, more urine and I waited and waited. Finally got a room and waited and waited some more. By this time, the pain had gone away and I felt fine. I had the sinking realization that it had been some sort of intestial acid or gas issue. I couldnt believe it. It literally was the worst pain I had felt in a long damn time for about five hours. Then just suddenly: POOF! Gone. All tests came back negative for the major shit Inwas worried about. They wanted to run more tests but Inasked to leave. No sense in racking up the bill anymore. I go to billing to find out that i have pay 25% of the ER cost... Around $1,200!!!! Thats two months rent for me! Ughhhhhhh. I leave pissed off and angry at myself for losing a whole day of getting shit done, seeing my kids and more, over just an extreme case of bad gas. Unless im in a major accident, im avoiding the ER forever.

All of this cannot come at a worse time. I lost a week and change at one job because of my hurt foot three weeks ago. I am deadly poor. It sucks. I thought about just selling everything I own and going extreme minimalist. But that would suck. I thought about a commission sale, but I am backed up on other art stuff that is due first. I need to get my plate clear... Hard to do when you work two jobs, get like 4-6 hours of sleep in between them and see all of those folks whom you hold dear. Im barely hanging on.

But im confident something good will come along. Im in a nice transitional phase. I just need more pay. How can a 37 year old guy with a college degree and 12 years combined management experience not find a job that pays beyond 6.85 takehome? Im gonna figure that one out.

So yeah, some stress and worries but things beyond that are going very very well. Im very happy most of the time. Tired and broke, but happy. I got a crapton to get done this weekend and the week, so I am off to it. Checking things off the TO DO list! Necessary.

Much love, T